It's not that I dress badly or anything, but the clothes that I wear have never really been my style. They've just been convenient and comfortable. For example, did you know that I'm not a fan of jeans? I'd much rather wear skirts on any occasion, but because it wasn't immediately attainable, I never got around to it. I am an enormous girly girl. I love skirts, and dresses, and frill. But I never wear them. I want to put more effort into the things I wear so that they're actually something that reflects me, rather than just being whatever was clean and handy.
But there's an elegant side to that, too. I'm a sucker for Victorian styles. In fact, one of my favorite clothing styles is Steampunk, which is pretty much dressing as if you lived in a Victorian-type setting with advanced steam technology, and you make your own kitschy jewelry and such. Corsets, pocket watches, top hats, and those awesome Victorian vests and coats are all common. It's elegance with a very subtle edge, sci-fi with an unexpected dash of class. I love this stuff. Why have I never gotten into it? I don't know.
And on that note, I'd love to get a plain little corset to wear on an everyday basis under clothes and such. Not for tight lacing because we all know I'm the last person who would ever need that, but for the feel of the thing, and the sleek shape it makes, and because I have horrible posture. Having them on feels like I'm wearing a hug. I love the shape they make. It's so smooth and streamlined, or hourglassy in a way that makes fluffy skirts look even fluffier. And wearing one makes me not slouch, which means less back pain for me. The downside? They're expensive as all get out. :(
I love art, and making things, and fiddling around with my hands. Everybody who knows me knows this. I want to make things more often. Things I can use, and wear, and sell. I want to make awesome jewelry and sell it online, to finally figure out how to sew and make something awesome, to redesign all of my spaces with things that I made. I want to sit back and look at the things that I made with my own time and effort, and feel that wave of accomplishment that comes with it. I want to be able to say, "This is mine. I made it, and somebody else loves it as much as I do."
Getting a little money from the online sales would also be a big plus.
I don't want to sound like one of those nuts who absolutely must have everything organic with no exceptions, but the idea of using synthetics, and chemicals, and such does bug me. It's why I don't like to take medicine or painkillers unless I absolutely have to. I just don't like the idea of having artificial crap in my system messing around with the way I work. This applies to food, lotion, hair care, and pretty much anything that can be absorbed into me somehow. It just gives me the heebie jeebies. Also, as it turns out, most of the things I use with this stuff in it can be made with things you can buy at a grocery store, and making them is actually pretty fun. Smells better too. :D
Go figure that food is good for the outside of your body as well as the inside. Did you know that rubbing olive oil into your hair gets rid of split ends? There are actually professional companies that will bottle oil with bunches of other crap to be put on your hair, but it smells horrible and doesn't work nearly as well as plain old EVOO. You can also pour a little into some sugar for a home made sugar scrub. And there are thousands of other things that work pretty similarly. They smell better, cost less, and have fewer things that are probably carcinogens. Where's the downside there?
Also, it may sound pretty hippie-ish, but I'm a big believer in aromatherapy and drinking tea instead of taking medicines for small things. Obviously for the big things I'll grumble and take the medicine, but for stuff like colds or sore throats, tea is a much tastier alternative. Licorice soothes sore throats, ginger is good for upset stomachs, chamomile and vanilla calm me down, peppermint wakes me up, and there are nifty vitamins and antioxidants in all of it.
Food is probably the biggest thing, though. Lately, I've been living off of frozen foods and junk food, and your average college noms. There's nothing good for me there. I want to make food that's actually going to do good things for me. That, and I'm getting pretty sick of canned soup.
So with all of these good things and preferences, why have I never gotten around to switching from expensive chemical thingies? Because I'm lazy? That really isn't much of an excuse.
I'm certainly not saying that I want to change my personality, but I've noticed that it isn't exactly showing up. I'm shy. I hate that. And because I'm shy, I don't do or say things that I want to. I don't sing, or laugh when things are randomly amusing, or jump into the snow just because it seems fun. Intellectually, I know that nothing bad will happen. Sure I'll get strange looks, but I've never been bothered by that before. And when I put it like that, there really is no reason for me to be shy anyway. I need to quit being afraid, because being afraid to be yourself is pretty pathetic.
Also, I need to quit being so lazy. Laziness is an excuse. It's why I procrastinate, and don't do schoolwork, and why I've never finished writing a novel. It drives me insane every time I don't do something just because "I was lazy." I miss out on so many things because "I'm lazy," and I'm really starting to feel the downside of missing them. It needs to stop.
So those are the things I want to work on changing. The way I dress, the things I make, the things I use, and the way I act. Will I be able to change them? Only time will tell.